Title: Moving for Me: How I Lost 20kg and Found My Peace

By Gavaza Mongwe

I am a wife, a professional, and a mother to three incredible children. Like many women, I haveworn different sizes in different seasons of life. Growing up, staying fit was effortless. After my first child, I bounced back without much hustle. But somewhere between my second child and the demands of life, my body began to change.

By 2022, I had returned to school, was working full-time, and raising a toddler. The demands of being a student, a mother, and an employee meant exercise took a backseat. That same year, I faced the profound grief of losing two loved ones. I went to therapy to process the loss, and it was there I discovered that my previous active lifestyle-netball in high school, corporate run clubs -had actually been masking mild anxiety and depression for years. Movement had been my medicine, and I hadn’t even known it.

The Turning Point

After welcoming my third child, I stepped onto the scale and saw a number I had never seen before: 110kg. I battled the heavy mindset that says,“You’re a mom of three; you’re expected to be big.” I feltlike I had lost control. I hid my body in leggings and oversized t-shirts because I didn’t know how to dress this new version of myself. I ate to manage my emotions.One day, during a conversation with my sister, she gently reminded me that I had done this before, and I could do it again. Something clicked. I realized I had a choice: settle for 110kg or start moving toward the healthiest version of myself.

Finding the Discipline

I decided to stop waiting for motivation and start relying on discipline. Here is how I shifted my mindset and habits to lose 20kg and rediscover my energy:

1. Do it for YOU (The “Why”)

It is easy to say we want to be healthy for our kids or husbands, but the most sustainable fuel is doing it for yourself. I had to look within and decide I wanted this body for me. When it becomes You vs. The Ice Cream or You vs. The 5km Run, loving yourself enough to choose health wins every time. When you look back and see the results, the pride you feel is unmatched.

2. Start Where You Are (Forget the Aesthetics)

Social media often tells us we need matching gym sets and smartwatches to be “fit. ” That isn’t true. When I started, my Garmin watch had broken, and I couldn’t afford a new one. I didn’t let that stop me. I used my phone and the wall clock at the gym. I had two sets of gym clothes, andI wore them on repeat. Don’t let a lack of “gear” stop you from starting. I rewarded myself with small things-new socks or a sports bra-only when I met my monthly targets.

3. Make the Scale a Tool, Not an Enemy

My goal was to lose 20kg by December. I broke this down into quarterly, monthly, and weekly milestones. You cannot change what you don’t measure. If I missed a weekly target, I knew I had to adjust my effort the following week.

4. Simplicity in Nutrition

I didn’t have a fancy meal plan. I did my own research and kept it simple. I knew eggs were protein-rich and kept me fuller for longer, so my breakfast was often boiled or scrambled eggs with avo. I cut out pap and vetkoek (amagwinya) and replaced heavy starches with couscous. I practiced intermittent fasting, eating breakfast after 11:00 AM and dinner before 8:00 PM, while drinking 2 liters of water daily.

5. Affirmations for the Soul

I listened to motivational messages every day on my way to the gym. I spoke to the person I was becoming, not the person I was. I would say,

“I am fit, firm, and muscular. I run kilometers without fail. I nourish my body.” The more I said it, the more I believed it.The Result It has been two years since I started this journey. I am living proof that working out slows down the aging process (I highly recommend the book Younger Next Year).

Today, I have more energy for my children and my work. I learned that health freedom is on the other side of a decision. A decision to walk, to push the plate away when full, and to drink water.

You too, EPIFEM Queen, can be younger next year.